The Irrational Fear of Death! (From Waterfalls, not Cancer).
So we are 3 days away fron running the first 3 of our waterfalls and the texts are coming in thick and fast from my crew of paddlers. What is the schedule? Where are we sleeping? What are the water levels like? Will you say nice things at my funeral...?
Kayaking. This is our favourite thing. We love the thrill of the rapids and pushing ourselves to extremes. We're meant to be FINE with this. It was a fun idea wasn't it? A chance to spend time in the water for charity. So why is it that kayaking off a waterfall has suddenly given a bunch of brilliant kayakers the fear? All the guys have run falls before and all the guys are good at it. They know that deep down but the fears and excuses are creeping in and I've spent this week pepping up the team and keeping them on board - reassuring them that we are not going to die and that everyone is just "rusty".
This project is very exciting but we also realise it has risks and consequences. As well as the "I've hurt my shoulder", the "I havent paddled for 3 years" and even the "I've got to go to the doctors tomorrow with a hurty penis" I am also getting the "well last year a friend of my friends club had one of their paddlers die on that drop".....
I am well accustomed to the cold sweats and sleepless nights that happens before one of these trips but I feel strangely calm about it at the moment. I can't decide if thats because nothing can beat the fear you get when you are told you have Cancer and its most likely you are going to die, or if its just because I'm so busy calming everyone else but the only one I've managed to convince is me. I've no doubt that calm will wear off the night before! In the end the reason we're all doing it is because we LOVE the fear. It gets the adrenalin going and
One thing is for sure, ALL of the guys coming along to help me with this from the banks or paddling the falls are AWESOME. I couldn't ask for a better bunch of friends, with fantastic kayaking skills, who are willing to put themselves out there and achieve something great. :)
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